FAQs

Is the H&P™ book a planner?

Sort of. Our book works in tandem with a traditional planner or electronic calendar. Because there are no time-slots, it’s important you hold onto whatever system works for you to keep appointments. Think of H&P™ as your linear calendar’s friend who sits next to her and asks: “ok what category does that appt. go into?” and after its over asks, “ok and how did that make you feel?”

How long do I spend on H&P™ everyday?

Less than 5 min. H&P™ is much more of a weekly, monthly, and seasonal practice than a daily one. Focus on building a weekly ritual of about 30-45 min. If you can do this consistently for a few weeks you will naturally watch your daily practice build up, and once you’re there it’s less than 5-min a day to do gratitude and track habits. The bulk of the time is spent reflecting and visualizing each week/month/season.

What if I skip a week, or a few weeks?

I promise you will skip a week or 5 every year. Yes, every year. This book is an invitation to reflect, visualize & practice in cycles; it is not a framework to “master.” We are conditioned to do things perfectly, and if we have empty pages we must be failing, right? The truth is the H&P framework is massive, and sometimes our rhythm requires a break from it to take it in. What if we used our books to practice being imperfect a bit more?

The only thing to notice from empty pages is: do you notice a difference in how you feel when you use H&P vs. when you don’t?

That’s it. If the answer is yes and you feel better when you use it, then open to the page where you are and do a reflection. Leave those blank pages be, or make an x through them, or go back to them if you feel called. It’s your book, your cycles, your needs.

How long does it take to integrate H&P™ into my life?

For most people: 1-2 years. I’m not here to sell you on “30 days to your best life!” because anyone selling that is LYING. H&P™ is sustainable, progressive, transformative internal systems change. 1-2 years of sticking with the way it looks & feels through the seasons will reward you for the rest of your life. In the scheme of things it’s nothing, but it won’t feel like it in the beginning. It’s hard at first — it doesn’t seem like the effort matches the reward. But, over time the conditioning starts to unwind, our lives start to untangle a bit, and we see progress in every area of our life.

This progress, however big or small, becomes the solid foundation by which the exponential growth comes after year 2. Once you are no longer questioning the effort you are putting in and enjoying the opportunity to check in with yourself, its use in your routine becomes more joyful and easy. The results are more tangible, but most importantly, your attachment to “results” has changed entirely.

What if I have no idea how to play?

This is the most common thing I hear, and exactly why we need H&P™. It’s a wonderful & courageous starting point to acknowledge we need help with this. In the US, we are systematically conditioned away from our play starting in middle school when they take away recess. Imagine 11 year olds no longer needing recess?! From that point on it’s about achievement in one way or another.

Those with greater privilege have access to things like vacations and enrichment activities, and those with less privilege work harder to hopefully gain more access to play one day. Neither groups are “bad,” but both groups are taught that play is “earned.”

I have a LOT to say on this topic, but I recommend Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown as a great starting point to get more foundational understanding of why play & pleasure is our birth right like food, water & shelter.

Ok so play is important but where do I start?

Ask yourself what you loved as a little kid. What books, music, & activities made you smile and giggle? Start slowly, and let yourself uncover pieces of your younger self who pursued play & pleasure without conditioning. Try to do this without expectations: do not put parameters on how long or how frequently you will try different things.

Passive, quiet things like sipping tea or sitting in a park count just as much as big vacations or massages or nights on the town.

We often forget or ignore that sex and erotic pleasure is a wonderful form of play and a beautiful part of being human. Putting intention to this in our play spaces opens up worlds of possibilities and growth just like any other form of play — how exciting!